JEANS and the right way to wear them. A must read.

Because I see jean mistakes EVERY day and they make me crazy...I wanted to post this help guide. There are a few obvious things that women should know but they don't so I will point those out first...
THIS IS NOT AN ATTACK!!.God gave us our bodies and no matter which one you have. It is awesome, so, to break it down girls...most women know which category they fit into:

 1.Bodacious tatas with no junk in the trunk..aka flat booty
2.They have booty and boobs to match aka hourglass
3. A Sir Mix a lot's got to scream and shout booty  aka big booty but your sportin the miraculous push up bra because god gave you that ass but no boobs. .Whew!Enough said there but how is that fair?...

• If you have a flat butt..(and you know if you do) you can flatter your backside by wearing jeans that have alot of stitching or embellishment on the butt. Miss me jeans...or anything from Maurices will work. It will fill out your bottom and make you more balanced. Less top heavy.
• If you don't have a flat butt, then you HAVE A BOOTY so don't wear alot of crap on your jeans. The backside should be fairly simple and a low rise jean is probably not the best choice. A midrise jean...(which I will go over in a minute) is a better choice for you. Any embelishment back there will make your bootie look way too big. Just saying...someone will play sir mix a lot at you....
• If you are a skinny modelesque, tall giraffe gazelle...YOU CAN WEAR ANY JEAN YOU WANT but that is about 2% of us.. or anyone under 19 so just be aware this is probably not you..(or me)
• Most women look best in a dark denium wash. Acid wash isn't going to look good if your over 30 because you will look like your having an 80's flashback moment and you are just looking for that "gag me with a spoon" pin to put on your denium jean jacket.
• Don't wear torn up jeans to a PTA meeting. It's sad I had to put this in here.

Lesson 1:
The Rise
There are three basic rises to a jean. The rise is the amount of fabric between your crotch and belly button.

•  Low Rise- This is more than 3 fingers width below your belly button. Most women can wear a low rise jean...if they have not had a baby. Otherwise...proceed with caution..It can emphasize a pooch or create a muffin top where there would not be one. If you are under 24..you can wear these jeans most likely...but if when you sit down you get whale tail (your thong is staring me down), or if your butt crack is begging me to throw a quarter to see if it sticks in there. You need to go up to a midrise jean. Just saying..
• Mid rise- This works best for most women. It is somewhere around 2 fingers below belly button. It is the most flattering and what I recommend. ATTN WOMEN OVER 35  You may not always find these in the junior department. It is ok..It does not mean you won't look hot........Sometimes...a midrise will still give you gaposis at the back. Your hips and booty fit but they are baggy at the waist. This is alot of women..don't freak out and dismiss the jean. This happens to me with EVERY JEAN!! ARRGGGh. There is a fix. It is called an alteration and for someone that has a smaller waist to booty ratio..It is a necessity. We will talk more about this tomorrow.
• High rise-This is anything at your belly button or above. As long as it is not cuffed at the bottom most women can wear these. Just don't buy them in a straight leg or you will look like you have on mom jeans.  Flares are always a good bet.

The Inseam
This refers to length of the jean from the crotch to the floor. Inseams are tricky and I have to hem all my pants because I am short. Again..a slight alteration which makes a HUGE..again,..HUGE difference. If your hem is too short you look like your digging for clams or are wearing your daughters jeans she outgrew. If they are too long..you look sloppy and crappy. Yes...crappy. You want the break (the place where the bottom of the jean meets your shoe) to sit on top of shoe and in the back just above the floor.
When I find a pair of jeans I love i buy two pairs and hem one pair to flats/sneakers and another to my average heel. I bring shoes to the alterations lady. Since I buy jeans once a year this is no big deal. It may sound like work but it really is not and it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. Trust me.


Stay tuned for tomorrow...Lesson 2 commences: The style of jeans and what shoe/shirt to wear with them. I know what you are thinking..."There are certain shirts and shoes that don't look good with different styles of jeans?" The answer is.....yes. And you will be required to read tomorrows blog to find out why. Muwahhh!
-Moxie Style